I read somewhere that if you hold a pencil between your front teeth, sideways, without letting your lips touch the pencil, you will cheer up. It makes your brain think you're smiling. If you go out in public, of course, it makes a lot of other people smile, and that's good too. The trick is not to bite the pencil in half over a speedbump.
Speedbumps drive me crazy. They do not stop speeding, except at the point of impact. I, personally, hit the horn when I hit the bump, then speed away with squealing tires to release some anger. Some people believe that they reduce speeding, but they just reduce traffic in general. In other words, they move the problem over a block, until the people on that street get their own speedbumps because of the increase in traffic and speeders. This process fuels the perception that they work.
Politicians and homeowners' association officials like them because it makes the people think they are doing something. They don't like to be accused of doing nothing. Do something, even if it doesn't work. Our neighborhood is built around a big loop, so there is no other street to use to get to your house from anywhere.
There is also a perception that they will stop or reduce crime. I guess they think that criminals prefer smooth street for getaways, maybe even in a high-speed chase. I can just picture two masked guys in an unmarked van, slowing to read the sign that says, "Slow! Speedbumps ahead!" and turning around to find a smoother neighborhood. Even the burglars in our own neighborhood will go elsewhere to work.
2 comments:
Hi Momma,
I've inherited your hatred of speed bumps. They put some real wicked ones near me, and I guess they work, because I just won't go that way anymore. They're the 3-hump version, but my car isn't big enough to cruise through the gaps. The bumps themselves feel like they're a foot high. I hate them so.
Jay
I was telling some friends about your method of making sure that the hideously annoying and useless traffic circles installed by the Wise Ones of St. Petersburg were "super safe" when you passed by - by beeping your horn for extra safety as you calmly negotiated the damned annoying circle. That way, the neighbors who insisted on the stupid thing would know it was working. Glad to hear it works for speed bumps too.
My friends all think you are the coolest, as, of course, do I.
Take solace in the fact that planning for and installing speed bumps keeps idle hands busy, and there is something to be said for keeping them out of worse mischeif.
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