This business of decorating lawns for Hallowe'en is a mystery to me. If you are one who does, I'm not trying to question your motives or your sanity, I just don't understand it. Even Christmas lawn decor goes to excess, seeming to say "Look how rich we are!"
An older couple down the street doesn't bother taking down decorations for one holiday before moving into the next. Picture the angel with wings and a trumpet, tooting toward Saint Patrick, who seems to have joined the wise men and the baby Jesus in the stable at Bethlehem, with the Easter Bunny close by visiting with Grinch. Ghosts and goblins are dancing around a large Uncle Sam, who is smiling at a giant turkey. The Peanuts gang is all here, skating around on a sheet of plastic. They are all lit up and mostly animated. Now this isn't just slovenliness; the owners have to move them around to mow the grass, so they really want them all out there. Do I need to say music plays in the evening?
I quit Hallowe'en several years ago. The cute little angels and cowboys sent out by the parents to beg candy from strangers was bad enough. The teenagers with their pants at half mast had a hard time holding up their britches while smoking and begging at the same time. The last straw was the fat Mama with a gaggle of children who pushed them out of the way and scooped every last candy from my tray into her pillowcase. She actually said "There, you little bastards, that's how you trick or treat!"
If you're looking for us this year, we are sitting in the dark with the shades drawn, pretending we're not at home.
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