Dear United Health:

You are now calling yourself Secure Horizons, among other changes that make me uncomfortable. Don’t you think the new name sounds sort of ephemeral? Like when you’re flying, the horizon is just always disappearing?

I have sent in two claims for reimbursement, both returned with a terse note from the post office: “Return to Sender; No such addressee.” Since your Florida address didn’t seem to be working, I called Customer service in Salt Lake City. I reached “Rick,” who seemed to have an accent. But then, I’ve never spoken to a Utah native, so what do I know? I asked him about the weather and he said they are having the monsoons. He suggested that I quit trying to raise Secure Horizons in Florida and send everything to United in Utah, contrary to what your notices say.

Okay, I like the old name. Reminds me of United States, United We Stand, United Fruit, real solid. However, I’m not sure it will work any better to get me my reimbursements. Want a suggestion? Give us a little more personal attention. And maybe change your name to “Aunt Bea’s Health Insurance and Guava Jelly Kitchen.”