Tuesday, December 1, 2015

The Joy of Rudeness

One benefit of reaching advanced age is that you can be quite rude when necessary. It's more than a privilege, more like a quaint tic that is expected of you. I used to bite my tongue when people would say something absurd, or wrong, or just tacky. No more, man. For those of you who haven't quite got the hang of it, read and take notes.

If someone says: You may say:

How do you like my hair (or botox job, Looks like a turd in a blender
or casserole)

I don't believe in evolution I don't believe in bricks

Abortion is a sin Don't have one

I don't believe in climate change No one gives a rat's ass what you believe
Obama is a Muslim traitor He says the same thing about you

The media has a liberal bias So does the dictionary

Taxes are just redistribution of wealth You still pay taxes?

The point is not to engage in an argument, but to stun them with your rudeness. If you worry that they won't be your friend anymore, are you so desperate that you want such a twit for a friend? You must be really short on friends. It may be because you're fat and ugly.

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