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Sunday, April 25, 2010

coulda, woulda, shoulda, oughta

I have two dear friends who are currently on the outs. One offered the other some unsolicited advice (regarding her weight) and the other responded with some of her own (regarding performance of an impossible sex act.) It's easy to understand, because none of us likes to get advice, whether we need it or not.

When someone tells me what I should do or ought to do, my hackles rise. It matters not if the advice is good, bad, or excellent, my resistance is the same. The very thought that someone thinks they know better than I about me. They are not my parent, my teacher, my boss. I even had "obey" deleted from our wedding vows 52 years ago, so CJ knew I was not one to tell what to do. I even view traffic signs as mere suggestions. Right lane MUST turn right. HAH!

Every parent knows the difference in advice, suggestions, and orders. Ever tell a muddy kid that he should take a bath? That he ought to go to bed? Doesn't work, does it? Invites a response like my friend gave the other, but not out loud. Gets a response in the "I could, but," or "I would, but." Could and would are excuses. I could lose 20 pounds, but then I would get wrinkles.

Of course, I may not like getting advice, but I love giving it. No wonder people hate lawyers. We not only give people advice, but we do it for a living. They have to pay to be insulted. Now, you really should get up from that computer, take a brisk walk, wash the dog, start dinner, and call your mother.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes, I SHOULD lose weight.
BUT..DON'T tell me to do it.
AND..don't tell me HOW to do it.
That's treading on thin ice. There are mirrors in homes and clothes that don't fit. The older we get the harder it is to lose. We already know!

Many of my friends could lose a few pounds but mostly, in my eyes, they are perfect the way they are!
To be healthier we know what we need to do. There is no quick fix.
It's taken me YEARS to do this to myself. Love me the way I am!
I will keep working on the other on my own. Thanks.